Here's a stupid, but also kind of great bit of news for you. The black you're wearing isn't as black as it could be and since we love the color black so much, why would you not want your shirt to be as black as possible? Exactly, of course you do, which is why Viperblack is trying to bring you a shirt that is 40% darker than any of the black shirts you already have in your wardrobe. At a certain point, shit starts to feel like this clip from Parks & Recreation, but the creators of this shirt say that it is figuratively "darker than black." So how do you find such a black shade of black? You look to the wild world of nature. Apparently, the Gaboon Viper, which Viperblack is unfortunately named after, possesses a deep shade of black that reflects less light. That marvel of nature inspired the technical people behind the brand to create a material that essentially traps light and prevents reflection. The project is currently looking for about $8,000 more dollars for manufacturing (LOL) and, if successful, there are even plans for a whole collection made of Viperblack material. If you're as goth as you say you are, here's your chance to have the blackest black possible. You're welcome. With that settled, science can finally answer its next most pressing question: "Fuckin' magnets, how do they work?"