Fuck it, I'm getting in touch with my best friends from college and we're moving to Washington to sell legal weed like we talked about all those times while waiting for Madden to load. It'll be a classy and even slightly scientific dispensary. No play on words or weed puns. We'll call it like, 'Rainier Avenue Apothecary' and we'll quietly start a legal fund that fights for clemency for all people convicted of weed-related crimes and whenever we're interviewed we'll talk about how the American criminal justice system is inherently flawed and further entrenches systemic racism and violence against people of color. We'll sell weed without stupid names like 'Thunderfuck' et al. Instead, we'll pioneer a more rigorous taxonomic system and instead of making unhealthy, sugary edibles, we'll make orally active pills. After a few weeks we'll be busy stacking up mountains of cash in a secure, off-site location because the Federal government is a fucking narc and won't let us use the banking system to secure our money. Oh yeah, we'll also be kinda high all the time and therefore in a better mood to deal with annoying family members and significant others and customers. Also, we will be so fucking rich.

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