Did you ever read/watch Peanuts? The original one. I never did until super recently (don't ask, I'm going through some shit) and I don't understand how a cartoon about a kid and his dog and his smelly mate and weird bird thing can be so depressing. Like, wow, this is for children? That one chick fucking hates Charlie Brown. Stop hanging out with her, man. She is messing with your head. No wonder everyone is so fucked up and nobody goes ice skating anymore. Anyway, TSPTR have put in the work with hat daddies Ebbets Field Flannels and come up with a bunch of caps with various iconic Peanuts on them that literally scream, "Sometimes I smoke weed in the bath!" Oh, and Popeye is in there too. That dude is also clearly unwell. He's like shaking and bellowing and is held together by rage and jealousy and spinach. Who the fuck gets the same tattoo on both arms? If you're getting an anchor on one of your swollen, deformed forearms, maybe get something else on the other one, you one-eyed maritime psychopath.

Sam Diss is a writer living in London. Follow him on Twitter here.