The Los Angeles Times reports that the bicyclist responsible for a road rage incident that involved him beating a driver's car with his U-lock in San Francisco in late August has been identified and arrested based on the fact that he has an elaborate and terrible mustache.
Ian Hespelt was taking part in the mass bike ride event Critical Mass when he and a few riders surrounded a driver in a Zipcar, one of them dropping their bicycle in front of the vehicle and harassing the driver after she accidentally bumped one of the rider's tires. You can see video of the altercation here. As the woman drives off, one of the bicyclists whips out his hefty U-lock and lays down a few solid strikes on the car on the driver side window and backseat window.
Well, police have arrested a suspect that matches the description of the man who hit the car with his lock, which, yep, you guessed it, mentions the mustache, though I'd imagine it probably didn't help authorities all that much considering how much weird and bad facial hair a lot of cyclists tend to sport. They're, like, only second to mixologists when it come to that shit. Anyhow, our mustachioed villain was booked on charges of assault with a deadly weapon, vandalism, maliciously and willfully throwing a substance at a vehicle and misdemeanor inciting a riot.
Listen, if you're going to get mad enough to bash someone's car with your bike lock, try not to do it on video and also don't have clearly identifiable facial hair. I mean, at least shave that shit. The first thing you do when you commit a crime is immediately change your appearance. Has this guy never once watched television or seen a fucking movie? I guess he's too busy riding his bike or whatever.