Your Mom's Spaghetti Will Never Fall Out Of These Maharishi Sweatpants

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Are you guys excited to be able to wear sweatpants comfortably again? I know I am. I'm sure some of you wore sweatpants all through the summer, but you savages did so with no regard to the health and well-being of your genitals and clearly gave no thought to your significant other's olfactory glands. Fall is pretty much the perfect season for sweatpants like this pair from Maharishi. I like that even the side pockets on these pants have snaps. Why? Because in sweatpants I tend to slouch in my seats even more than usual and lots of times I even prop my legs up inappropriately and I hate when the seven thousand quarters the independent coffee shop gave me as change falls out all over the hardwood floor of some stupid boutique I'm currently loitering in on some super lame mom's spaghetti shit. Evidently, "independent" and "small" business is just code for "we suck at having enough change in the cash register because we assume most people pay with credit cards these days despite ardently watching Mr. Robot, but somehow completely missing the overall message of the show and instead focusing on how we can use soundbites and screenshots from it to make a really clever tip jar."

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