Everyone remembers those days in school when the nurse would walk through the halls, stopping in at every classroom to do a lice inspection. When you put hundreds of children in one place, it's a guarantee that there is going to be some nasty ass shit. But in the past couple of years, doctors have seen a much higher rate of lice cases than they have previously and they think it's because of social media. Seriously.
According to WBAY, teens typically don't get lice because they have generally better hygiene than younger children and they don't share hats. Because lice can't jump, the only way to really spread the insolent little buggers is through—SPOILER ALERT—touching heads together as they creepy crawl over strands of hair from one victim to the next. The accompanying video clip from the story is pretty great, particularly mentioning the need to keep some room between you and your friend's head when you take a group selfie just to be sale. And it's not just selfies. Watching a video or reveling in the glory of a viral meme on your phone in a small group can draw a handful of people to huddle around a small screen with possible cranial impact as a result.
This is really just a dissertation on our sad existences revolving around screens. These teens and their endless hunger for likes and snaps is directly impacted their health. It kinda makes you wonder where the lice came from in the first place? Where is our patient zero? Like, who's sharing anything with the grossest kid in class? I'm pretty sure Steven Glansberg was eating by himself for a reason, ya know?
Part is me is more convinced that this is actually just a marketing ploy by Big Shampoo to make parents freak the fuck out and buy their teens all of the hair product. Fuck, now my scalp is itching for no reason.
