There is no doubt in my mind that Rick Owens would have rather been born a horse than a human. Remember this video? Well, straight out of the nightmares you will most assuredly have now that you've watched it come these Rick Owens "Hoof Dunk" sneakers. For those of you out there who rock with centaurs, Rick has provided a solid option for you without undergoing any radical, black market species conversion operations. These are so fucking ridiculous that I want to cop and just place them on my nonexistent mantle to show them off to every visitor who comes my apartment. "Oh, these? Yeah, I'm never going to wear them. But it's the closest I'll get to hunting down a hoofed animal and mounting it on my wall."