One of my best friends has a white Stetson Panama hat and long hair and one time we went to a Tigers game with my dad and, like, seven people kept thinking my friend was Kid Rock. My boy was like, "I don't even look like Kid Rock." And my dad was like, "All white people look the same. Even Jon looks half like Kid Rock." I dead ass fell out of my seat laughing. I'm not sure if you'll look like Kid Rock while wearing one of these Panama hats Stetson made for Neighborhood, but if you're a white guy, my dad will think you look like Kid Rock. He'll also think you look like every professional hockey player ever because my dad seriously has a hard time telling white people apart. I'm honestly not sure how he can tell which one is his own wife. I think he put a secret mark on all her clothes or something.
Originally published on Four Pins