Bad news for guys with beards and the girls who love them: According to a new study, that impressive face mane you've been cultivating may be filled with the same poop particles found in your toilet.
A microbiologist in Albuquerque, N.M. named John Golobic swabbed some manly man faces and found that they contained normal bacteria, but some of them also carried "the types of things you'd find in fecal matter." Golobic called the results "disturbing" and was thoroughly concerned by the level of "uncleanliness" that would result in fecal matter reaching a guy's face. He recommended hand washing and beard scrubbing, which should be common sense but clearly wasn't for the men in the study.
Maybe this whole "eat it like groceries" thing has officially gone too far.