The fucked up thing about getting older is that no matter how non-existent your social life is, you will most likely end up attending 2.5 weddings every summer for the foreseeable future. It fucking sucks because all these people make you show up at a very specific place at a very specific time and, on top of that, they have the fucking gall to give you a list of pre-approved presents to buy them like you're some kind of gifting moron. But weddings are a good excuse to buy things like sashiko sportcoats to fucking stunt on everyone at the open bar. The best strategy for obligatory wedding attendance is getting drunk and calling yourself an Uber like you got somewhere to go before you're lit enough to light a cigarette in a crowded banquet hall.