In the grand scheme of irrelevance, there may be nothing more utterly and completely irrelevant than the MTV Movie Awards, which is kinda, like, the entire appeal, ya know? Why would we be watching an awards show for movies on a network that stands for Music Television? While the fact that MTV barely plays music anymore may directly coincide with the fact that it can get away with putting on an awards show that no one pays attention to, that doesn't mean we weren't on top of things, ready to call out the posers and praise the what amounts to simply the lesser of evils. Unfortunately, there were very few of the latter. I mean, just look at this fucking bullshit. It isn't even an actual red carpet. Of the few real celebrities that showed up, most of them didn't even go in front of the cameras, not that I can blame them. I was watching this bullshit online stream with all these different feeds and a bunch of famous people just rolled up to a nearby parking garage and walked into the venue all covert like rather than get their photos taken. In retrospect, this was the most solid career move of all time. I wouldn't have wanted to show my face here either. While I admittedly have very little integrity remaining, if any whatsoever, this one really pushed me to my limits. So, let's see who had the unfortunate distinction of showing up at the 2015 MTV Movie Awards last night.

[Photos via MTV and E!]