Do you guys own a short sleeve sweatshirt? Me neither. Okay, fine, I did at one point, but my girlfriend's dog, who is super mean to me all the time, threw up all over it and, out of frustration and in a failed attempt at protesting the way a tiny dog was treating me, I just threw the sweatshirt in the garbage. Instead of feeling bad for me, my girlfriend was like, "Why didn't you wash it? You get that much free stuff? 'Cause I know you're not that wealthy." Even after that act of aggression, her dog is still so mean to me. Every single time I sit next to her, that little fucker will look at me straight in the face before getting up to go sit in the other room. I'M HOME ALL THE TIME WITH THAT DOG, TAKING IT FOR WALKS AND MAKING IT A SCRAMBLED EGG IN THE MORNING, SO WE CAN HAVE BREAKFAST TOGETHER AND SHE STILL TREATS ME LIKE THE GODDAMN HELP.
