"Weakness: guitar players. Like classical guitar. I will drop panty immediately if you made it out of vintage parts and recycled wood." - Tanya, 31
"Ah yes GUITAR! Forgot about guitar." - Liz, 27
"Guitar for sure." - Sarah, 23

Women love musicians. Even when they're terrible acoustic guitar players covering Dave Matthews Band on the college quad (but I'm not bitter). Even when it's a guy way too old to be playing open mic night playing open mic night (again, not bitter). 

It isn't just enough to play guitar though. To receive the full sexual benefits of being a musician, you also have to dress like a guy who plays guitar. You have to look the brooding artist part. You need something like multiple scarves or a T-shirt that is literally older than you are to really sell the look. I tried to brood as hard as I could in this hoodie, but clearly fell short.

My Tinder experience: I did get some interest from women that I wouldn't have otherwise. The problem is that once the messaging got going, they asked about my guitar playing. I don't know how to play guitar. The highlight of my musical career is poorly playing the baritone freshman year of high school. I thought about lying, but then imagined myself back at her place being asked to play her a little something, and I knew that wouldn't end well.