Selfie Shoes Have Zero Juice

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Guys, I can't even tell what is a joke and what isn't anymore. Is this just a really elaborate and expensive way to troll people in 2015? Watch the video and you be the judge. SELFIE SHOES. Let that shit sink in. This has gotta be a long con April Fool's joke because no way is shoving your several hundred dollar cellphone into the toe of your shoe easier or safer or more practical than just using a fucking selfie stick, which was already a tramp stamp of absurdity on your terrible personality. You do know that you can just asking someone to take a photo of you and your homie, right?

I just…fuck it, I'm Ctrl+Alt+Del-ing my entire existence if this is for real. If so, at least I can take solace in the fact that someone out there is going to eventually brain an innocent passerby via Instagram ninja kick during a selfie attempt. Either way, this elaborate digital skit has absolutely zero juice because the shoes look like shit. If they were hot, MAYBE, JUST MAYBE they could be justified by way of insanity. These just look like Etsy wedding bridesmaid joints. Anyhow, hop on the wait list and take some yoga classes while you wait so you can actually lift your leg high enough to take a photo of your fucking face with a fucking camera that's attached to your fucking foot.

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