We are Four Pins, champions of the youth, guardians of the Cool Teens™ and, admittedly, olds just now coming to grips with our imminent mortality. Seriously though, have you taken a look over our "Kids" tag recently? Shit is popping with everything from tiny baby sneakers to the uncertain future of the fuccboi. If one thing's for sure, it's that kids love social media. They use it everyday. They organize hangouts on it, I think. And, since when you're young, school and jobs don't mean shit, it is their life, right?
We've long assumed that younger people are shunning Facebook for Twitter or Instagram, so why not finally get a living, breathing, real, actual teen to weigh in on all this? Fortunately, we didn't have to do any work whatsoever to figure this out because some 19-year-old freshman at the University of Texas did it for us. Unfortunately, this entire essay must be taken with an entire mine's worth of salt because this dude is 19-YEARS-OLD. YO, YOU'RE A GROWN MAN NOW, SON. ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO BE ALL UP ON MEDIUM CALLING YOURSELF A TEEN? IT'S KINDA WEIRD. Please, be clear. If you're in college, you are not a teen anymore, even if your age ends ends in "teen." However, let's distill his observations for the sake of science.
Facebook? That shit is deader than the deadest doornail in history, fam. It is "the awkward family dinner party we can't really leave." But if you don't have it, that's even more annoying because people will ask you shit about why you don't have it and dealing with other humans is one of any teens greatest fears in life. With that said, the group event and messaging options are still useful.
Instagram, in short, is the fucking shit because the experience is more controlled by the user and can be whittled down to exactly what they want. Wow. So next level that Facebook owns Instagram. Wow. Levels. I wonder how many children know this dark secret. But, yeah, Instagram is pretty dope.
Much to our dismay, homeboy just goes off and shits all over Twitter. What the fuck is up with that? He says that teens don't understand the point of Twitter. What else is there to understand except dank memes? Ugh, I just remembered that I fucking hate college students.
Of course, he just loves Snapchat. To be honest, I have never used Snapchat and don't plan on doing so. He says some annoying shit about there being less pressure on Snapchat to be cool, but whatever, I'm just gonna skip ahead because, um, being cool is my entire life.
Tumblr is a "weird secret society," so, yeah, he pretty much crushed that.
Finally, our teen social media ambassador mentions a bunch of other weird social networks that I don't understand, though "ayy u got kik?" is obviously hilarious and a big Four Pins favorite. At the end of the day, it's abundantly clear that this fellow Andrew Watts is way too level-headed to provide us with the kind of insight we need to truly understand the Teen Social Media Universe. If you are a Cool Teen™ that happens to read Four Pins who would like to pen an essay for us about what it is actually like being a Cool Teen™ on social media, please let us know. Legitimate age identification required.