"Ali Julia" might be the most influential person on the Internet and you don't even know who she is. Hell, she might not even be real. But you have probably read one of her reviews. "Ali Julia" is currently the #1 ranked Amazon reviewer. She's written nearly 3,000 product reviews on the site and has climbed her way to the top. The Amazon algorithm, which is a closely guarded secret, determines who is the best reviewer on the site, the belief being that if your review is marked as helpful it ups your ranking while the opposite is a death knell.

The Boston Globe didn't speak to Ali, as she preferred to remain anonymous, but they did get #10 on the horn. Her name is Mandy Payne and she reveals just what happens when your Amazon reviews are actually important. Payne, a 45-year-old political consultant in L.A. has written more than 2,500 reviews on Amazon and, as a result, has received death threats and gotten fans who follow her every review. When she lived in Hawaii previously, she relied on Amazon to get products not available to her and took to reviewing them for others. Now, she receives 15-30 packages a day from companies who want her to review them. The Globe even tracked down the "most decorated" Amazon reviewer, 63-year-old Joanna Daneman who has been dropping reviews on Amazon since the late '90s. Real OG shit.

The subculture of Amazon reviews has become a full-blown competition, one that ends up with reviewers receiving different versions of the most popular things on the site at any given time. Now that's the fucking life. I mean, at least it is until your entire house is filled with shit you'll never live long enough to use, especially since you can't resell anything according to Amazon's rules. We should really stop shitting on things here at Four Pins and take our overly negative asses to Amazon. At least there it actually pays dividends.