If you thought Black Friday was the biggest shopping shit show on earth, you obviously haven't experienced Singles Day (today, 11/11) in China. Chosen for the sheer amount of ones in the date, young, single people in China organize parties, possibly meet someone and shop for themselves. It's basically a real life version of "treat yo self" from Parks and Recreation. Based on all that sheer consumption, it's become the single largest shopping day in the entire world. According to WWD, in the first 14 hours, Alibaba, basically the Chinese Amazon, sold nearly $6 billion worth of shit alone.

But the kicker of all of this? The most popular items sold weren't the newest and best tech pieces like iPhones, dope ass flat screen TVs or anything else like that. Nope, #1 would be virtual boyfriends and girlfriends. I'm sick, fam. It's really come to this. We've gone full-on Her. I didn't think this shit would show up until hoverboards were in mainstream production and flying cars were drifting through the air, but according to The Financial Times, some of the 250 million single adults in China are paying 50 cents an hour to rent one of the 5,000 virtual beaus listed online to chat and talk with. It's like using an escort service to find someone to complain to for an hour, but, like, a way better deal and somehow impossibly even lonelier.