Meet the worst art thief in the world: he saunters into a British gallery, conspicuously eyes the hanging works, finds a nice print that's (yes!) easy to jimmy off the wall. Now what does he do? HE TRIES TO STUFF THE GIANT THING IN HIS SWEATSHIRT. When that genius idea doesn't work, he walks out with the piece under his arm. Spoiler: he gets caught.
The West Midlands police released a video of this struggle burglar trying to take off with a piece of First World War art from Castle Fine Art Gallery in Birmingham, UK. The piece in question was Never Forgotten by Nic Joly, a mounted sculpture that depicts two sliders raising a poppy. Because the work is not an original, it's only worth about $1,100. In the scheme of art world robberies, this is petty theft.
Investigating officer PC Patrick Higgins told the Daily Mail, "The thief was quite optimistic in his attempts to conceal the artwork, valued at several hundred pounds, but fortunately he made off empty handed. We are now keen to identify the man in the CCTV to prevent him from turning his attention to smaller objects."
Blind optimism only got the robber so far. The gallery owner noticed him walking out with the sculpture under his arm, stopped him, and easily got the work back without any confrontation. Still, the thief has yet to be identified.
This cringe-worthy theft may even be worse than that guy who couldn't fit stolen Damien Hirst paintings in his getaway car for a full two minutes after swiping them from a gallery. Art thiefs, please step up your game. It's getting embarrassing.