The Rig Out and Reebok just put out a short film that is basically the reification of my dreams of being a cool northern English guy. Entitled "Reebok Classics: 'Give Me Your Classics And I'll Show You the Future'," the film features a BMW, coke white Reeboks, a bae in really tight leggings and a bomber jacket, a cool club filled with cool people and a cool English guy saying some dope shit. Now, all I wanna do is listen to The Streets and eat kidney beans for breakfast and smoke cigarettes and wear gold chains and hang out with girls with nice butts that drape their jackets over their shoulders so they look like steezy, delicate birds. Unfortunately, instead of a vintage Beamer, me and my tight leggings bae will have to drive around town in a late model Chevy Blazer. And instead of a cool English city, we'll be cruising around Detroit, which sounds kind of dope, but I already know there won't be a guy with a fire accent narrating our time together. Just once I wish my life could be narrated by a British guy. JUST. ONCE.