Sup fam? Welcome back. I've been meaning to write about veteran Japanese brand Whiz Limited for a minute now. They dropped some really beautiful, unique pieces toward the end of last month, but I've been too fucking busy to put the proverbial pen to paper. This shit has been sitting in my drafts since, like, August 28th, so a couple of the cooler pieces have unfortunately, for you, since sold out.

I may have been lying about being busy. Maybe I just waited until I had enough dollar dollar to cop all the garms I desired before dropping my super advanced Japanese Brand Wisdom™ on you strug lords. Is that selfish? Without doubt. Do I care? Obviously not.

Lets start with pants. I'm sick of catching you thirst monkeys lurking around street style hotspots flexing some thousand dollar upper body garm we most likely #influenced you to pick up a week or so prior. Okay, so that in itself isn't necessarily a problem. Nah, it's your ill-fitting, piss poor quality Zara jeans, which are helping me exercise my pharyngeal reflex. Your ENTIRE alphet has to be en pointe, my dude, not just from the dick up.

Fortunately, Whiz are never not on hand with two dope pairs of clean, affordable legwear in various colorways. The first pair, a patched casual trouser, are covered waist to hem in dope features. I wouldn't normally list them because I'm lazy and you have functional retinas, but these tingalings are too good not to shower with adjectives. Alright, so we've mentioned the sporadically placed, asymmetric patching and I'm not going to elaborate. Patches are tight af and—NEWSFLASH—we outchea and on to BELT HOOPS despite having no idea if those things have any actual practical use. Maybe you could hang your tampons from it? There are also some rare zips around the back of the leg, and what I can only describe as a butt yoke under the back pockets. COOL. Consider pairing them with your elongated shirts and some round, Harry Potter looking glasses. EVERYBODY'S DOING IT. About time you jumped off the bridge and joined us.

Moving on, lets talk about some cargo pants. The Lax 6P 9/L cargos, to be precise. Wow, what a stupid fucking name. Did I already mention I hate Whiz's stupid brand name? I don't know about over there in the Third World (read: America), but here in England, a "whiz" is a piss. So this company's name effectively translates to "Urine Limited." Whatever. If anyone asks, these pants are just samples from your imaginary Japanese girlfriend's brother's upcoming clothing brand. RIGHT, CARGO PANTS. These cargo pants are dope. Much like the aforementioned patched trouser, they have those crazy little asymmetric belt hoops. BUT THAT'S WHERE THE SIMILARITIES END. There are those big frontal cargo pockets, which are actually also patched, so you kinda have four pockets for the price of two. They're also loosely elasticated at the hem and have nothing more interesting about them. They're just cool, good-looking cargo pants. NEXT.

I should probably talk about a jacket or two because none of you nerds really care about anything else. Just, like, sneakers and jackets. Fucking fiends, man. This storage jacket is basically a bomber covered in a ton of pockets that were obviously left over from the cargo pant adventure. They're scattered around and placed at different angles because that's what we fuckin' like. I'm not a huge fan of the olive/black variant, but both the blue/black and black/blue would look cool over a long tee with some distressed jeans and a your only pair of boots. Oh yeah, there's a double zipper. I feel like we should stop admiring garms with double zippers and just start calling out garms without, ya dig? If you don't double zipper, we don't fuck with you musically.

I was gonna wrap it up there because two sets of pants and a jacket feels like the right amount, but damn, I'm lit so nah. Ever since I peeped the boy Nick Grant in that cool mountie hat, I've wanted a cool hat of my own. But yo, Nick done fucked up. That mountie hat was way too rigid and unflappy for my liking. Lay your eyes on this beautiful little rabbit hat. Shit. Is. Floppy. As. Fuck. It comes in both black and brown, although I'm led to believe black is sold out. So, just brown. But who cares? You've been scouring the https for a come up from your current fuccboi trilby and you know this Jane Austen-looking joint is the absolute maneuver. I'm not gonna write anything else about the actual hat because it's just a fucking hat and the product description is in squiggles so I can't just plagiarize from there like usual. Not to mention, you probably stopped reading 5 paragraphs ago.

So, yeah, I really fuck with Whiz. If you're interested, you can peep their entire F/W 14 collection above.

Moksha August is a serial Four Pins commenter turned writer. I guess you could say that he started from the bottom. Haha, that's the spot. You can follow him on Twitter here.