This Maharisihi Fistail Parka is so official all it needs is a whistle. I'm pretty sure Maharishi knew what the fuck it was doing when in intentionally named this parka the "Official Tail." They're pretty clever folks over there and they also make quality garments. At this point, I pretty much wake up every morning hopeful that Poncho will tell me it's going to rain at night because I really need to justify all the raincoats and trenches I've written about lately. Yet, everyday it's "60s and sunny, rejoice!" Fuck no. I will not rejoice. Inclement weather is the best weather, as long as it's not actually life-threatening or anything. But imagine sliding into this guy while the rain falls down and it just beads off of you like gallons upon gallons of the haters' tears falling from the sky.