You still need to invest in way more fancy pins. You know what I do with fancy pins? I turn blankets into shawls that I then wear around my waist. It's a dangerous game because if that pin happens to pop open, I'm probably gonna stab myself in the gut when I sit down. I remember from when I was in 6th grade and obsessed with the American Civil War that I learned gut wounds were some of the deadliest, so I'm always worried about getting shot in the gut or stabbed in the stomach. I'm sure medical science has advanced since the 1860s, but still, I'd rather be safe than sorry. Anyways, maybe we should just pin our scarves or our jackets or something. Although, you could still stab yourself in the throat. Shit, who knew $36 Kapital pins could be so fucking dangerous?
