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"It's not like I forgot how to get pussy because I fuckin' became homeless." Okay then.
Well, I can barely get any pussy as it is, so if you added in the insurmountable obstacle of homelessness, I think I'd become a eunuch and just forgo sex for the rest of my life. But that's not what Joe, a 26-year-old New York City homeless man interviewed by Elite Daily says. Joe isn't homeless in the typical way we view the homeless. No, since being kicked out of his mother's house in Boston for drugs, the self-proclaimed "gypsy" uses women for sex and shelter, randomly approaching them on the street, in parks and at bars. Because he has no home (obviously) he does what he can to get inside their apartments. When he isn't all up in their cozy beds for a good night's sleep, he's on the street as the homeless tend to be. How real the above footage is, we can't be sure.
Is this the worst of it? Is this the extent of his awfulness? It goes a bit further. He'll buy booze immediately when he wakes up if he has some cash in his pocket (he make about $150 a day from panhandling) and hits the nearest CVS to do his best to not look homeless by using their hair gel and body spray free of charge, before rotating between his four "pretty good" outfits. And, like, he does a pretty good job of it TBH. He doesn't look much worse than the typical goober you see with no sense of style. While he's clearly a piece of shit for his rotating schedule of picking up girls and using them for sex and shelter, he also donates to other homeless people who might be worse off than him—as evidenced by the hotdog money he so gracious gives away—because karma is an extremely important concept to him.
I think it's pretty clear that Joe fucking sucks, mostly because he freely admits that he could quit drinking and doing drugs and get a job. And, yet, he doesn't. He tells the youth not to become like him, but only because he is the only one who can pull this type of shit off. I'm so concerned for any of the women he's gone home with in the past who are just now seeing this video and realizing they slept with a homeless person, and not because of any insensitive stigma, but because of the possibilities of sickness and STDs that comes with a dude of this supreme douchebag caliber. This shit is so foul and disgusting I can barely wrap my head around it. I'm sure a bunch of men's rights advocates (the worst people in the world if you weren't aware) will chime in and call him an "entrepreneur" or "opportunist." Fuck them too.