YO, shout out the homie Chris over at 4 O'CLOCK FRIDAY for hooking us up with a sick preview of the one true next level fire "Hypebeast Essentials," the Pulitzer Prize-winning everyday carry photo expose from the best website of all time if you're an angry racist virgin who likes to get active in the comments of something other than Four Pins. You knew it was coming, you just didn't know when. Fortunately for us, we got an early peep at this shit. And, like, holy fucking shit, fam, it is so fire we had to request the Uber chopper to fly overhead and drop hundreds upon thousands of gallons of water to put it out. You've got everything you could possibly need up in this bitch for every possible situation you could possibly run into throughout the course of a standard hypebeast lifetime, which is closer to 31 years because of the cigarettes, poor arch support and life-threatening camp outs. Genetically, hypebeasts run into health problems that cut their lives dramatically short. Live life to the fullest, dawgs. Like Wiz Khalifa said, "Ima take all this money I own and throw it all away." Right, so, it's all here:

-Fiji Water for next level hydration to combat your nearly unquenchable thirst.

-A Supreme blanket because it's impossible to get a good night's sleep without it.

-Mommy's credit card, for emergencies only, but you use it all the time anyway.

-Pharrell's Vivienne Westwood hat, which you had years before he wore it, obviously.

-Marc Jacobs condoms for all that pussy you get.

-A slip of paper with Virgil Abloh's autograph on it.

That's just a selection of all the shit you NEED on a daily basis. Most importantly, you can't forget your clothing line—the one that's top secret and, since it's not ready yet, you've just started seeding to #influencers for them to post on Instagram and build hype before the pre-pre-order releases in four months (actually release time varies). We're keeping an eye out for that fo sho.