Fair warning, if you Google "The Gigi" like I did to find out more information, a few of the top hits pertain to the world's apparently #1 selling "personal massager," specifically engineered to find the, well, G-spot. We all know "massager" is the politically correct term for "vibrator" and we also know the G-spot doesn't actually exist. It's a myth pushed forward by the sex industry, just like the clitoris. But this blazer/cardigan hybrid—which I like to call a "blardigan" and blurt out in a manner that makes it sound like I'm throwing up—is made by The Gigi, a small Italian brand that puts a dope "Don't Look Back" tag on the collar. This particular blardigan is caramel and has a very massager-like texture. Ribbed for her pleasure, you might say. Look, I shouldn't have to type any more than that. You got two quick hitting vagina references, a vomit sound AND a collar with an esoteric, mysterious, cool phrase on it in under 200 words. Hemingway couldn't write that shit and people actually liked the stuff he wrote.
Originally published on Four Pins