Fair warning, if you Google "The Gigi" like I did to find out more information, a few of the top hits pertain to the world's apparently #1 selling "personal massager," specifically engineered to find the, well, G-spot. We all know "massager" is the politically correct term for "vibrator" and we also know the G-spot doesn't actually exist. It's a myth pushed forward by the sex industry, just like the clitoris. But this blazer/cardigan hybrid—which I like to call a "blardigan" and blurt out in a manner that makes it sound like I'm throwing up—is made by The Gigi, a small Italian brand that puts a dope "Don't Look Back" tag on the collar. This particular blardigan is caramel and has a very massager-like texture. Ribbed for her pleasure, you might say. Look, I shouldn't have to type any more than that. You got two quick hitting vagina references, a vomit sound AND a collar with an esoteric, mysterious, cool phrase on it in under 200 words. Hemingway couldn't write that shit and people actually liked the stuff he wrote.
