In the immortal words of Del the Funky Homosapien, as famously heard in Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, "You gotta wash yo' ass." If you don't wash your ass closely enough, you end up with ruined undies because—NEWSFLASH—you now are the not so proud owner of skid marks. If you don't realize it early enough, and literally nip that shit in the bud, the next time your girl is about to go down on you, she'll recoil in disgust at the sight of you new racing stripes. No one wants that. Believe it or not, there are good kinds of racing stripes and skid marks, though. Take for example, the enormous yellow racing stripe down the back of this OAMC sweater. If you're about to get lost at your next drug party—probably on a boat if we're being honest—you need to be locatable by your friends, who most likely left on a hunt for a gallon of water since the molly took hold. And, the viscose in this thing should come standard on all sweaters. I hate when a sweater stretches and doesn't retract even just a little bit, instead remaining limp and impotent. No one wants impotent sweaters. But if y'all just dropped some viscose into every sweater ever made from here on out, we'd never have that problem again.
