Look dawgies, I know some of you herbs trawl through Hypebeast for days on end because you are the definition of lame, so, of course, the more fucc-hungry of you will have already peeped these magical Nepenthes x Spectrus joints prior to reading this here article, and will therefore no doubt feel the need to leave some annoying, snarky comments about how I'm two years late, or how my name sounds like a seasonal Starbucks beverage, or some other really beige, played out insult (wow, long sentence lmao). And you know what? That's fine. I got this gig by leaving annoying, snarky comments just like that. So go ahead, player, tell me I'm a pretentious, dilatory piece of shit. I also get circa $50 per comment left. Seriously, call me names. My Porsche needs a tune-up.
But forget about my Porsche(s) for a second. Let's take the focus back to this next level wearable Japanese footwear technology. This is some serious Back To The Future shit, homie. Where the hoverboard at though? And the normalized mother-son sexual relations? OK, these aren't actually "self-lacing." That was breathtakingly misleading on my part and I'm sorry. But you don't have to lace them! You just turn some fancy dial at the back of the shoe to tighten/loosen the...shoe-grip? Shoe-grip? Is that a thing? Whatever. If you don’t think these joints are cool then you should stay the fuck away from my articles because I'm all about corny Japanese gear like this. Pair them with an ISIS recruitment pamphlet and a flight to the Middle East. Maybe even get confused for a shoe bomber or something.
Moksha August is a serial Four Pins commenter turned writer. I guess you could say that he started from the bottom. Haha, that's the spot. You can follow him on Twitter here.
