Soccer moms get all the shine, but what about soccer dads? Soccer dads are pretty chill tbh. I had a soccer mom and a soccer dad for parents. I lived in the fucking 'burbs, man, what did you expect? My dad never coached me, but I bet if he did, he would have put Will Ferrell in Kicking and Screaming to shame. And he probably would have done it in this Stephan Schneider jacket, so he'd look fly as shit on the sidelines as he yelled at little kids to get back on defense. They wouldn't care though. They'd stop and pick some fucking dandelions instead. Lucky for him, he wouldn't sweat it at all since this is a perfect windbreaker for those early fall days. Thanks to Schneider's wonky sizing though, it'd probably be a bit tight in the gut. LOL classic dad. He'd keep his cool, even though his team (sponsored by the local Chevrolet dealer, of course) allowed seven goals in the first half. To teach them a lesson, he'd slap the orange slice out of the hands of any kid who tried to eat one at halftime. And forget about the post-game Capri Suns. Those are for winners.
