WWD just wrote this article about how wearabale technology is struggling to find its way these days. This became particularly apparent when Nike recently announced that they were shutting down their FuelBand division, likely because that shit was super corny and no one knew what the fuck to make of NikeFuel points to begin with. Really though, anyone could have told them that before spending millions on the program. Like, if you can't tell me how many Oreos I can eat after my jog in some sort of transferable metric (i.e. calories), then I couldn't give any less fucks. No one gets their fitness on for health reasons even if they tell themselves that. They do it so they can fit into Saint Laurent jeans and hopefully find someone decent to sleep with.

But this isn't just Nike we're talking about. No, many other companies are developing textiles that can, like, track a runner's speed, but that shit is "still in development" aka "will never see the light of day." Anyway, the article also touches on shit like 3-D printed couture, which could allow people to print dresses and various other high-end shit they see on the runway in the comfort of their own homes. Granted, 3-D printers can basically only print, like, plastic and cost roughly a billion dollars, so the jury's still out on that too. The main issue here, in summation, is that wearable tech is extremely fucking stupid, at least for now. No one wants to look like a cyborg, and the thing about tech is that it's an industry based on novelty (thinner screens, faster loading times, brighter screens, etc.) Unlike the chore coat that got passed down from your pops, that calorie counting jockstrap isn't going to be something you're psyched to bequeath to junior.