Have you ever met someone who is into something so much that you still kind of respect even the most ridiculous things they say because they said them with more conviction than you've had for anything in your entire life? Well, Slate is out here doing the lord's work by interviewing this dude who claims that when he got on the Internet the first thing he did was search "men's long hair." WOW, TALK ABOUT A BOLD FIRST GOOGLE. I can say without a doubt that I have Googled some crazy shit in my time, but I have never once thought to look into men's long hair. But, evidently, just like there's a community of nerds that writes about men's clothing, there's a community of nerds with long hair that write to each other on the web. They even have their own Hypebeast: Men's Long Hair Hyperboard.

Shouts to these dudes for doing whatever the fuck they want with their hair. Granted, and keep in mind that I love slang, I call shenanigans on "arrived" as their preferred vernacular for having a mane of suitable length. That shit sounds like how murder mystery audio book authors describe a dude jizzing on the girl's thigh.