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Theophilus London made a triumphant blogging return to, and his first post is...kind of creepy? Kind of genius? We're not saying the thirst levels exhibited here are anywhere near full-on parched, but there is something a little lurky about his first published work. In Part I of "Neighborhood Watch: TL's Favorite Local Hotties," the musician/designer/hat-wearer seeks to highlight women currently living in Brooklyn who don't "appear on mainstream, cheesy TV ads or reality shows."

We applaud his desire to "showcase the wonderful women who make our communities a better place." But the execution just has a weird tone, like the first text you send after getting a girl's number: "Hey! Great to meet, had fun last night. Let's hang out soon!" Or for the truly thirsty, the comments you leave on an (old) Instagram photo of your latest crush: "Dope pic! You got crazy skills, we should work on something together. hmu! :)"

Maybe this is a genuine attempt to highlight "the real girls in the city, in the hood, and on the move." Maybe it's a genius attempt to get some ass, in which case, hey, we've all done creeptastic shit before. Check out London's fave hotties of Brooklyn. While each of them got a nice write-up about what they're doing, we just highlighted the best lines taken 100% out of context, 'cause Internet rulez. 


Out of Context Lurkiest Line: "Say hi, and follow this young babe on Twitter @KimNtsimi to keep up with her fab lifestyle and latest moves..."


Out of Context Lurkiest Line: "I love an art-school girl. I mean…don’t we all? Waking up every day with the mind-set to create art, nonstop? Sign me up, please!"


Out of Context Lurkiest Line: "Jungle Pussy has a huge sex appeal about her that I love!" Also, "Her body is well fit, and she can twerk at an A+ level!"


Out of Context Lurkiest Line: "Follow her flawless selfies and latest power moves on Instagram @kristennoelgipson."