The Four Pins Guide To Staying "Next Level"

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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Are you trying to come up in 2014? FUCK YEAH. This the year you get that show on Esquire’s new TV channel, bruh. This the year you get that blue check on your Twitter. But, in order for all good things to happen, you’ve gotta stay next level. Staying next level is almost as exhausting an endeavor as suffering under the yoke of your own influence. However, it can be done. In fact, it must be done. How else will people know who's the "cool one" in your group of friends? Don’t worry, my guys, Four Pins HQ is actually located on the next level, so we're sending down some crucial info to the mezzanine level. See you up here soon.

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Collect Rare Books

Do you guys remember when Take Ivy was super hard to find and really expensive and we all just had scans of it? Well, turns out, there are a ton of other old ass books like that in the world. And collecting rare books helps trick people into thinking you’re smart and erudite. But jokes on them, you don’t read the books, they just look ill on industrial shelving.

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Live Beyond Your Means

Look, if The Real Housewives of Nobody Gives a Shit have taught me anything, it’s that staying next level requires a lot of money you don’t have. Living beyond your means is fucking awesome. Just the other day I went to a coffee shop and ordered granola and yogurt, a dish I could easily compose myself for, like, $1.79. But instead I bought it at a luxe coffee shop for $5.50.

It was worth it because the waitress brought me some artisanal clover honey to drizzle over it. Eating really fancy yogurts and wearing only the most exclusive jawns at the expense of

things like furniture or a decent apartment are a thing of the past. FOR 2014 WE'RE HAVING IT ALL THANKS TO CRIPPLING DEBT.

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