Rethinking Your Non-Robed Existence

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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Do you own a legit bathrobe? Me neither. I have, like, seven towels, but only three that I actually like to use because I bought expensive ones using those unstoppable Bed Bath & Beyond 20% off coupons. I had to go in three separate times, but they sent me eighteen coupons so it was all good. Anyway, I’m starting to rethink my non-robed existence. I mean, imagine the look on your significant other’s face when you saunter into the living room (aka the room in your apartment that isn’t your bedroom) wearing this bad boy from Outlier. Since it’s made by Outlier, I’m assuming this robe is suitable for sailing the Arctic Ocean and shit. So don’t worry if you have to get into a Jason Bourne style karate chop fight with an intruder, while making your girl some eggs benny. I didn’t read any of Outlier’s copy except the last line that says that this robe is made of linen and ends with this banger: “The more love you give your linen, the more you’ll love it.” Tell that to your girl when your robe accidentally falls open and you ruin breakfast in bed.

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