The Incognito-Martin news cycle can watch Saturday cartoons in its jammies a little longer because the “Apparel Chairman” of some frat at Emory just wrote an embarrassing email to the rest of his brotherhood about how to dress.

Has the frat paradigm shifted this much since I was in a fraternity at a comparable southern school a few years ago? What “fratstar” reads High Snob and then buys a Ludlow suit? Is no one straining this loose cannon’s emails through the cheesecloth of reason? These are the kinds of question that, left unanswered, will keep you and your fratbros from ever seeking elected office.

Used to be that frat guys didn’t think about their clothes unless they were expected at a formal or a disciplinary hearing. And no one batted an eye. What was known as “fratstar chic” was more attitudinal than sartorial. I’m not saying it was okay to look like a slob, but if you spent more than six minutes packing for beach weekend you were setting a two-day precedent of trying too hard. What’s more, who is going to notice that you mentally hit Ctrl+C on a page of Talking About the Abstraction’s lookbook at a kegger? Dank frat basements are the belly of the beast, mercilessly laying waste to the “statement scarf” you just melted your work-study check for.

I understand that part of our email mystery man’s concern is appearing attractive to “that cute Theta.” But, thanks to four years of observation, I can tell you that bursting through the door of a party like Kramer, bedecked in what could be classified as “Fresh Prince Trapwear,” while perhaps not “attractive” to the ladies, gives you an aura of rebelliousness which they are sure to find irresistible.

I suppose what I’m saying is that these infantile cluck clucks need to revel in the freedom of youth, because there will come a time where societal conventions mandate that you take yourself seriously. And taking yourself seriously even a second before that is how your adult reputation gets regulated on. Like Nate Dogg. Not that whiny bitch Warren G.

Rick Morrison is a writer living in North Carolina. Follow him on Twitter here.

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