Like many people, I wonder what would happen if aliens crash-landed on Earth. Would they be violent? Would they be benevolent? Would they come to drain the Earth of resources? Would I even notice, or am I too far out of the loop? Either way, they are eventually going to stumble upon a little thing called rap music. It's too ubiquitous for them to ignore. Anyway, if the aliens want to know more about this rap music, I have written a primer for the state of rap music in 2013. Here are some artists that you, the alien, will want to familiarize yourself with, as well as a few legends you should become acquainted with as well. Please note that this isn't an order, alien, and I will pray to the gold statue you erected in the center of my city five times an hour. Praise be to you, Lord Golfax! And that the planet of Galacktar be rich for a thousand years!

Brendan O'Hare is attempting to be a writer and comedian while living in NYC. Follow his comedy jokes on Twitter here.