Team: Dallas Cowboys
Dresses like: A country club dad that drives a road bike, listens to Smash Mouth, and leaves a cheap ass tip for his caddy

When Tony Romo opens his closet, a tidal wave of Kangol hats and Starter gear floods the streets. Cars are overturned by the force of a 1000 golf cleats, children drown in a sea of Tommy Bahama camp shirts, and the air permeates with the smell of Old Spice body spray. Honestly, Yosemite Sam is a more stylish cowboy than this guy, and that dude has a lipstick red, four-foot moustache. SMH. We wonder how a dude that looks like this is able to land all of John Mayer's ex-girlfriends, then we read about his $108M contract and everything snaps into focus.