In theory, “Blurred Lines” should be a sexy video. It’s got naked girls, it’s got a danceable song that said naked girls can easily dance to, it’s got…well, no, that’s about all the sexy it’s got. Which would have been fine, except that it’s also got a girl riding what appears to be a palsied stuffed dog. And an unsettlingly large baby goat. And hashtags. And T.I. brushing a model’s hair like a creep. And a giant hypodermic needle. And awful, arrhythmic dancing. No, not even arrhythmic dancing. Anti-rhythmic dancing. Most damningly, though, the video has Robin Thicke. If you haven’t watched this video before, let me tell you this: Robin Thicke looking directly into the camera while eating an ice cream cone will haunt your dreams for the rest of your God-given life.