Earlier this week, our fearless leader Lawrence sent me a link to the Blogspot of Angel Barta, a pretty Hungarian girl and aspiring model. Over the course of several meandering posts, Barta attempts to make the case that Marc Jacobs, international fashion icon and one of the world’s most prominent designers, stole all of his ideas from her. She paints a picture of Jacobs as an egomaniacal, behind-the-scenes puppet master, whose control extends beyond just his eponymous label and Louis Vuitton to include Nina Ricci, editor and stylist Katie Grand, model Cara Delevingne, the House of Dior, Lady Gaga and Comme des Garcons among many others.

What at first glance seems like the ranting of someone trying to claw their way into the spotlight, reveals itself upon further examination to be the work of someone who desperately needs the help of loved ones to pull her out of a very dark place. Rather than spending more time on Angel herself (if you’re interested, you can read a more in-depth story on The Frisky), there is one claim she makes that is conspiracy theory doffer for the ages: That Marc Jacobs is a closeted heterosexual.

I know what you’re thinking and, yes, Marc Jacobs is most definitely gay. He’s been openly gay for years. He publicly dates men. He celebrates gay night every night. His company was once sued by a former employee for being “oppressively gay”. I don’t know what “oppressively gay” means exactly, but it sound like Jacobs would have to be living his life with some Daniel Day-Lewis levels of character immersion to pull off a stunt like the one Angel claims to be true. And to what end?

Yet, what if it were true? Would that be the most bizarre fashion conspiracy of all time? Oh no, my friends. It would not be.

Steve Dool is a writer based in New York City. Follow him on Twitter.