Congratulations homie, your girlfriend loves you enough to want to pay half your rent. Although your mom probably thinks it’s a bad idea for you to cohabitate before marriage, I know quite a few young couples making it work, and midway through my third lease with the boo I think I’ve got a pretty good lock on how to trick a girl into putting up with you full-time.

I know the one thing miserable single people hate hearing about more than anything is happy couples, and the one thing irrelevant old heads hate hearing more than anything is life advice from twenty-somethings, but I’m about to drop a healthy dose of both on the three of you still reading. Peep game because this what I’ve learned about staying sane in a confined space with your significant other.

Angelo Spagnolo is a writer living in Portland, Oregon. Read his blog here and follow him on Twitter here.