You're abroad for Pitti Uomo and Brunello Cucinelli is literally carving a pig in front of you with diamond-encrusted cutlery. Holy crap, that sounds awesome. You're at home eating "night cheese" watching reruns of "Law & Order." Yikes. Keep that to yourself. Besides, people are probably following you to see cool clothes and occasional shots of your outfit, not to see how many bacon strips you consume in one week or live vicariously through your steady diet of press dinners and hors d'oeuvres consumed at fashion presentations.