Poler recently announced their new Burner Bag. At first I thought it was most likely a bag for you to easily dispose of your burner cell phone. Haven’t you always wanted to need a burner cellphone to call your shady South American government contacts and import fifteen kilos of something illegal? Yeah, me too. I don’t know exactly how an actual burner bag would work in this scenario—burning sensitive documents like Robert Redford in Spy Game? Anywho, this is for camping so you can start a fire. Yeah, yeah, you’ve been watching Man vs. Wild for like 3 seasons now and are convinced you could start a fire with a twig, some Vaseline and a cotton swabs. BUT WHEN DO YOU CARRY SUCH A RANDOM ASSORTMENT OF SHIT THE FEW TIMES YOU ACTUALLY GO CAMPING? Plus, you don’t want to fumble starting a fire in front of your girl when cooking over an open fire was your idea in the first place, dick.

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