14. Mickey Rourke

Vests with bare chests, a closet full of electric-colored snakeskin, an omnipresent topknot — as questionable as his sartorially choices might be, we can't help but hold out a slight hope that someday Mickey Rourke is going to bust in an event in full-on Mortal Kombat regalia. And that, my friends, would be excusable (and fucking awesome). However, in its potential interim, we will continue to gape at the absurd descent anyone can plummet from 9 ½ Weeks to 9 ½ chihuahuas.