26. Adam Lambert
Listen, Adam. We are excited for you. You came in (gasp) second, one season out of ten, of a reality-television sweatshop that churns out success stories of the likes of Ruben Studdard, Taylor Hicks and David Cook. How do you handle the pressures of marginal suburban fame? What ever will you do to continue whoring for attention? Oh right, by pruning your reverse mullet (promotional consideration provided by Kate GoslingTM).