Miguel Caballero has saved every Hamptons-going, golf-playing, business-casual asshole from violence. The Colombian designer has created polo shirts for his Black Label Collection (a high-security fashion line), a favorite of bad ass motherfuckers everywhere.

According to the brand, co-signers include the likes of Steven Seagal, President Hugo Chavez of Venezuela, President Alvaro Uribe of Colombia, and Prince Felipe of Spain. Don't believe it? Check out the second photo of Mr. Seagal and the designer himself (LOL).

The shirts come with three safety options. The first polo shirt can resist shots from a 9mm and a 40 Smith and Wesson. The second covers that, plus a submachine gun. The third can save you from Uzi shots and is stab-proof. STAB-PROOF. Now you know what you need to wear when stealing endless amounts of lobster rolls. If you got some cash, cop one now for $3,475. [Incredible Things]