When you have a wife who looks like Demi Moore, all eyes are on her because she's beautiful. Them's the rules. So it's not OK for you to look so baffling that it's straight-up distracting. Case in point: What the f*ck you wearing Ashton? What happened here? We know a strong woman in her sexual prime is a powerful factor but when did you start dressing like her older, homely, spinster lady friend? The Miami Senior Citizens Committee called. They want their linen pants back. The Crips called too. They took a look at your shirt, cardigan, and bandanna and decided to start reppin' yellow. Also, every single white woman who ever went on a vision quest to India called. You're 15 minutes late to book club. [via]