Last lesson, our grooming editor and knowledge emperor, Colonel Cator Sparks, taught us how not to become scrunch-faced, wrinkly-eyed, California Raisin people by battling crows feet. This installment Sparky gives us an invaluable message in how not to become abominable snowmen as the mercury drops.

Dudes, it is here. That winter freeze we've been bracing against for months. All of a sudden, men and women turn into cave dwelling shut-ins. The biological imperative is to stay warm, dry and out of the elements. And possibly eating more starches than is ever a good idea. Sometimes this results in crusty skin, nappy hair and scruffy faces.

Now, I feel like by lesson #6 we're close enough that I can make requests of you: PLEASE DON'T GO THERE. Some of us live in wintry climates for a third of the year and it is not the time to backslide into disgustingness. This is also the best time to use products that are refreshing, tingly, hydratin' and good smellin'...

Here we go:

EveryMan Jack Lip Balm

Lip Saver: Every Man Jack Lip Balm. The aloe keeps you from cracking and as a bonus you get two for one! ($5)


The Mug Scrub: Lab Series Power Wash. After all that wind burn on your cheeks, slap this on your face to bring it back to soft and smooth. ($18)


Mug Cream: Nickel Super Speed Moisturizer. This little sucker gives +295% extra moisturizer than others! FACT. Now that's a tall glass of Smart Water for your face. ($36)


Eye gunk: MenScience Androceuticals Eye Rescue Formula. Dark circles begone. This light and matte formula is a quick remedy for when you remove the beer goggles. ($37)


Head Tingler: AXE Downpour Refreshing Mint Shampoo. Formulated with peppermint leaf extract this is going make your head jolt. ($5)


Man Scent: Marc Jacobs Bang. Not only will the bottle brighten up your bathroom but the woody, peppery scent will wake you up from hibernation. Eau de Toilette ($75)