Predicting Who Will Win Every NFL Game for Week 3

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Chopz - I would say who is going to watch this game on Thursday night, but it’s the NFL, so probably a lot of people. Jacksonville has looked better than people thought this year, but I’m going with Miami to pick up their first win of the season. 

Adam - Do better and watch Lakers-Nuggets over this deplorable matchup. Rolling with Minshew Magic until further notice. 

Zion - Jaguars win this stinker of a game. 

Angel - Dolphins lost a close one to the Bills last week, so I think they get their first win Sunday.

Chopz - The Raiders are 2-0 and coming off a huge win on Monday Night Football against the Saints. I see a letdown coming as they travel east to New England. Give me Cam and the Pats. 

Adam - Yeah, the Raiders are ripe for an emotional letdown after Monday’s big win in the Vegas opener and now have to hit the road to face the mad scientist with a QB who’s cooking. It’s a no-brainer pick for the Pats.

Zion - Patriots win. 

Angel - The Pats at home.

Chopz - The Rams are way better than I expected them to be. This is a fun matchup between two good teams, but I’ll take the visiting LA Rams to win it. 

Adam - The public appears to be backing the Rams right now with the majority of the bets (so far) placed on Los Angeles. But the majority of the money is coming in on the Bills and that means the sharps love the Bills. So do I.

Zion - Not buying the Bills yet, they beat the Jets and Dolphins. Rams win. 

Angel - Josh Allen and the Bills start the season off at 3-0 in an entertaining game.

Chopz - The Texans early season schedule sure is brutal. Have to play the Chiefs, Ravens, and now the Steelers. They desperately need a win so I’ll roll with Deshaun. 

Adam - Deshaun as a road underdog usually pays handsomely, but the Steelers run defense has been stout while the Texans rushing attack has been pedestrian. Pittsburgh at home. 

Zion -  Steelers, that Texans offense is a joke! 

Angel - The Steelers are going to destroy the Texans.

Chopz - How mad are the 49ers that they have to play in MetLife again this week? They’re banged up and the Giants aren’t as bad as the Jets. Give me Daniel Jones and the Giants to get their first win here. 

Adam - Giants getting points and straight up since the Niners are comically banged up and can’t wait to get back to the west coast. 

Zion - The 49ers are missing everybody…I’m switching my pick back to the 49ers. Giants find a way to lose. 

Angel - Both teams are banged up, but no way the Giants beat the Niners, even with a backup QB. Give me SF.

Chopz - The Vikings might be awful and the Titans might be really good. Give me Tennessee on the road. 

Adam - Can’t believe I picked the Vikings over the Packers in Week 1 and justified it by saying I there wasn’t that big of a talent discrepancy between the division rivals. The Vikings stink. Fade them the rest of the season. Tennessee pounds Minnesota. 

Zion - Titans. Captain COVID is stealing money! 

Angel - The Vikings ruined what would’ve been the craziest payday of my gambling career, so fuck 'em. Give me the Titans.

Chopz - If the Browns win this game they’ll be over .500 for the first time since 2014. That’s incredible. Give me the Browns. 

Adam - The Washington Football Team because nothing gives me more pleasure than my colleague’s misery rooting for that phantom contender known as the Cleveland Football Team.

Zion - Browns but we need Washington Football to win for chaos.

Angel - Washington is well coached but the Browns are better right? Right??? Give me Cleveland.

Chopz - Eagles have to win this game, right? No way Philly drops this one. 

Adam - I want to get cute here and take the Bengals, but, yeah, sanity is going to prevail. Philly gets a desperately needed win. 

Zion - No way Philly doesn’t bounce back. 

Angel - Philly needs this one bad. I’ll take the Eagles.

Chopz - It must really be brutal being an Atlanta Falcons fan. And that’s coming from a Browns fan. Give me the Falcons to bounce back after their epic collapse in Dallas. 

Adam - Bears. I need another upset and would love nothing more than to watch the Falcons fuck up another winnable game in stupifying fashion. 

Zion - The Bears barely won against the Giants! Falcons. 

Angel - No way the Bears start the season 3-0. Plus, the Falcons need to make up for last week’s embarrassing loss. I’ll take Atlanta.

Chopz - Colts win big. How long before Adam Gase gets fired? 

Adam - Sam Darnold should’ve picked this season to get mono because, Christ, the Jets may be lucky if they win two games. Colts in a laugher. 

Zion - The Jets aren’t an NFL team. Colts. 

Angel - I’m in no way a Jets fan, but Adam Gase still having a job bothers me in such an irrational way. Give me the Colts because I slept on them last week.

Chopz - I wanted to take the Panthers here in the upset but I just don’t see it without CMC in the backfield. Chargers win. 

Adam - In the Absolutely Nobody Cares Game of the Week, Chargers.  

Zion - Chargers. No CMC, no W. 

Angel - The Chargers played the Chiefs great last week and they carry that momentum into Sunday. Give me LA.

Chopz - The Lions have held double digit leads in each of their first two games and lost each. That’s brutal. Cardinals start 3-0. 

Adam - Closer than the experts think, but rolling with the Cardinals. 

Zion - CARDS 3-0. 

Angel - I want to take the Lions, however, I can’t bring myself to believe in Matt Patricia as a head coach. Free my guy Matt Stafford. He deserves better. Arizona in a convincing one.

Chopz - Tampa Bay got back on track in Week 2 but Tom Brady still hasn’t looked all that great. I’ll go with the Bucs to win, but it will be close. 

Adam - Don’t overthink it. Buccaneers. 

Zion - Bucs win even though Brady is washed. 

Angel - The Bucs make it two in a row. 

Chopz - Dallas really came so close to being 0-2 on the season. Though they got the victory in Week 2, I’ll go with Seattle here. Russell Wilson is gunning for that MVP award. 

Adam - Mr. Unlimited is rolling right now. Seahawks spank the Cowboys. O/U on coaching blunders from Mike McCarthy has been set at 1.5. Take the over. 

Zion - What a game. Cowboys ride the momentum. 

Angel - This game is going to be entertaining as hell but the Cowboys are still figuring things out with their new coach. Give me Seattle.

Chopz - The Saints are in trouble. Drew Brees looks washed. Packers win. 

Adam - Contrary to popular belief, Drew Brees is not washed. He’s just a middling NFL quarterback right now. I wouldn’t take the Saints ATS, but I’ll take ‘em straight up.  

Zion - Packers. 

Angel - The Packers get to 3-0. The Saints did nothing for me this past Monday.

Chopz - What a game this is going to be. The Ravens look unstoppable, but I’m not going to pick against Patrick Mahomes. Chiefs win. 

Adam - Finally, a game to get really excited about. The Chiefs, who are 3.5-point underdogs in this one, will be too tasty for bettors to bypass. But I’ll buy into the hype of some media types who think the Ravens > Chiefs. 

Zion - LAMAR IS REPEATING AS MVP. Ravens grab this game.

Angel - The Ravens are playing better so they win this one.