29 Things You Probably Don't Know About J.R. Smith

Image via Complex Original

With Phil Jackson's heavy-handed approach coming together, Knicks fans will hopefully see less contracts like this. It was the worst kept secret of last season's training camp: Chris Smith made the opening day roster because CAA steered his brother J.R. to the Knicks, and the younger Smith was part of the family package. Cute story, except Chris Smith sucks. Outside of those two NBA minutes, he played a forgettable chunk of games in the D-League before being released. Worst $2 million Dolan ever spent.

Source

J.R.’s high school football coached once said that J.R. was an “NFL-type player.” For Lakewood High School, he played wide receiver, linebacker, cornerback, safety, and quarterback. Wherever they could put J.R. in a position to exert as much control over the game as possible, they would.

Source

The offer was made solely on J.R.'s game tape. Clemson didn't even bother checking him out in any other capacity. He had that level of ability. But once he transferred to St. Benedict's prep to repeat junior year, he dropped football altogether. Given his father's history as a former college and semipro basketball player, it's no surprise that J.R. followed in his father's footsteps towards becoming a serious (round)baller.

Source

J.R. would’ve kept going too, but his coach pulled him out of the game to grant the opposing team a quarter of mercy.

Source

In one of the last prep-to-pro drafts, he was picked 16th overall by the New Orleans Hornets.

Source

J.R.'s been, at best, a pretty-good-to-occasionally-awesome sixth man. He won the NBA's Sixth Man of the Year award in 2013, although it's a distinction that J.R. doesn't quite vibe with. In his mind, he should be starting. His take on being a sixth man instead of a starter was astonishingly narrow-minded: “You’re supposed to play your best five. I still don’t understand that to this day. ‘We needed a spark off the bench.’ Well, you’ve got seven other players who are supposed to be NBA players, they all should be sparks.” Doesn't he know that it's who finishes—not who starts—that really matters?

Source

During the NBA lockout, he headed over to China to earn some checks. He signed a record $3 million contract, of which, about $1 million was lost through a laundry list of fines for things like skipping practice.

Source

J.R. and Melo have been best buddies since their Nuggets days. In 2005, J.R.'s Hornets drafted Chris Paul. They played one season together, which was deemed special and long-lasting enough to make Paul the godfather of one of J.R.'s babies.

Source

While J.R. was busy putting up 37 points his family got into a bit of a scuffle in the stands. During a freethrow, a Chinese fan started heckling J.R., and another threw a pair of thunderstix onto the court. His sister started flipping the bird at anyone and everyone, and his girlfriend started taking on any Chinese fan who wanted it. Arena security and J.R. helped escort his family to safety, I guess.

Source

He kept ordering stacks of trays of food to just, and I quote, “See if they would keep bringing it to the room.” I didn’t know that level of fuccboi behavior could be unlocked. Shout-out to any room servers collecting tips that night, though.

Source

It happened during a 102-91 loss against the Miami Heat. He made ten of them and scored 32 points, so as much as we'd like to say, “See, J.R. shot the Knicks out of the game! He's a bum,” that simply didn't happen. Melo went 4-17 shooting, and the team shot 37.5 percent on the whole. J.R. was the team's best player that night in spite of his recent 5-17 performance from three against the Bucks. Shooters gotta keep shooting.

Source

He bought Black Jesus for $15K in 2010, and three years later, he had yet to pay the balance for the chain. The jeweler sued J.R. for $48,101, demanding payment for the chain plus $10,000 more worth of shinny things. J.R. never responded to the suit, ignoring the whole thing until the judge eventually called off the stalemate and awarded the full amount to the jeweler. Accountants are also a thing, somewhere.

Source

My Name is Earl. After J.R. was convicted in a reckless driving case that killed his best friend, he tried to find the reset button. He’d gone by J.R.—which stands for “Junior” as his real name is Earl Thomas III— basically his entire life. Earl wanted to be known as Earl, but that didn’t last long (all his friends didn’t like it), and neither did his attempts at more mature behavior. Proof: There are still 15 more slides left here. The legend of J.R. rumbled on.

Source

According to one report, Carmelo Anthony was against bringing J.R. back from China in 2012. They’re friends and all, and Anthony publicly said he’d be “happy” with the move, although that reportedly wasn’t the truth. He gave a “thumbs down” to Knicks management, and was actually sad when the Knicks went ahead with the signing.

Source

During a conversation with Esquire about his style, J.R.’s tattoos came up. He was asked about a few good and bad tattoos of other players around the league. While Chris Anderson received a condonation from J.R., Brandon Bass was slagged harshly. “It's definitely not good work, it's terrible,” said J.R.

Source

He actually doesn’t know what the official count is. He stopped keeping track once it hit the seventies.

Source

J.R. got it done alongside his sister, who was also getting one for the first time.

Source

A random re-signing scenario that made a slightly big difference: the Clippers offered J.R. a contract once he got back from China. He could've re-joined former Hornets teammate Chris Paul, but this time as a legitimate offensive threat. The lobs and dance moves he would've attempted with Blake Griffin alone would've been viral classics. Jamal Crawford and J.J. Redick may be on different teams right now, and two-guards of their quality would make a difference on any perimeter-starved team. But because J.R. was broke and the Knicks offered $1 million more, he headed to New York.

Source

The streakiest of streaky shooters. Lest we forget his 5 for 17 three-point performance against the Bucks just a few months earlier.

Source

He hopped on board 50 Cent's energy drink in March 2013. He claims to use it before every game. If that's true, he needs to drop this fucking sponsorship ASAP. Smith has been garbage since March 2013. Now if Street King sponsored J.R. Smith "The vampire of New York's thirsty club-crawling scene" and not J.R. Smith, "New York Knick", then they'd be onto something.

Source

The Gurkha F5 looks like some bullshit you saw in Ferguson, MO. Although this tank-thing costs about two percent of the $17 million contract J.R. signed last summer, he doesn't actually own it. According to Beyond the Buzzer, J.R.'s friends with some dudes in the rap group SBOE (Slow Bucks Over Everything), the F5 is actually theirs. 

Luckily for J.R., he was able to ride/vamp through New York for one awesome night while looking like Batman in this thing. It must be nice to have friends who are also rich and bent on buying extraordinary toys. 

Source

When J.R. went through that whole untying shoelaces phase, we were stunned (and a little giggly) about his clownish behavior. We’ve seen biting, bullying, racism, and legitimate assault and battery go down on professional sports surfaces, but untying a dude’s shoelaces? What?

Turns out, Larry Bird pulled the same shit in a playoff game in 1991. But while Bird was essentially a living monument to the holy ghost of basketball and J.R.’s J.R., only one of them received a fine.

Source

This is why J.R. never bothered with practice in China. He went 21 of 32 from the field, grabbed eight boards, and only had three turnovers. That's a very well-played game of basketball right there. Why practice when you can roll out of bed and do this?

Source

J.R.'s also a big fan of the IIs and the XIs. His father is currently building a new strip mall full of sneaker stores. J.R. will have no problem copping those Columbia XIs later this year.

Source

When J.R. went to China, he struggled to adapt to the country’s cuisine and customs. He didn’t trust Chinese food, so he curved eating altogether. Aside from American fast food variants popping up, J.R.’s food options were limited. Cause, you know, Chinese food exists in China.

Source

Snakes are slimy and they don’t chew their food and they have no limbs and a guy once fucked one and put it on the Internet so yes, J.R. Smith, I stand with you in your fear of the serpent vermin.

Source

A Day 1 baller.

Source

This fact warrants a follow-up investigation into J.R.’s iPod.

Source

Steph Curry and Chris Paul are DTG, but nobody on the Knicks is. Apparently Melo’s too scared of getting his ass whooped over 18 against Earl.

Source