10 Changes We Would Make to the Game of Basketball

Image via Complex Original

Chance of Happening (%): 20%

Fun Factor (1-10): 9

Why: 

For guys like Stephen Curry and Jamal Crawford, who possess infinite range on their jumper, a four-point line would be a gift from the heavens. Oh, your team needs to start cutting down that 20+ point lead with a few minutes remaining? Maybe it's time to start chucking it from waaaaaaaay downtown. With a four-point line, blowouts will still be interesting to watch with the ever-present possibility of a potential comeback if the losing side starts draining one deep shot after another. It would force opposing teams with a somewhat comfortable lead to not sit back on defense since there is a chance of greatly cutting into the lead. Plus, it would reward those aforementioned players who can consistently drain it from a place where few can and only get three points for their effort. Who wouldn't enjoy watching Josh Smith jack up four-pointers all game?

Chance of Happening (%): 0%

Fun Factor (1-10): 8

Why:

This idea offers a little something for everyone. For the Tim Duncans of the world who live off of physics by knocking down a jumper off a specific part of the glass, it offers an alternative instead of trying to splash everything in. It also adds new angles for the creative dunkers who are looking for a little more flash on their fastbreak jams. How awesome was it when Tracy McGrady threw himself an alley-oop off the glass during the All-Star Game? Now, could you imagine the possibilities for a player looking to throw it down from the elbow or someone driving to the basket and looking to bank it in “off the glass” in traffic?

Chance of Happening (%): 5%

Fun Factor (1-10): 7

Why:

This one is utterly insane, but would definitely make basketball even more exciting. Shout out to MTV Rock N' Jock for this stroke of genius. If you can recall, Rock N' Jock had the 25 and 50-point hoop which was placed 17 feet and 25 1/2 feet, respectively, above the regulation hoop. Obviously, you cannot have the shot equal an insane amount of points, but there needs to be an element of high risk, high reward. Picture this: your team is down by five with like five seconds left. One player inbounds the ball to a wide-open teammate who tosses it to the rim located 25 1/2 feet in the air and drains it! Could you imagine the insanity? The elation among their fan base? The mass killing by some pissed off gamblers? Okay, maybe not so much that last example. Hopefully not, at least, but if there's one thing that could bring out the worst in people, it's a five-point shot.

Chance of Happening (%): 1%

Fun Factor (1-10): 8

Why:

Okay, before you get all “This is a terrible idea, I watched Slamball in the early 2000's and literally saw a dude's shin bone pop out of his leg to say 'hi',” just think about how far technology has come since 2003. We've got high speed internet phones and 3D printers now. Surely they've figured out a way to combine basketball and trampolines that won't result in bones exiting skin. Hell, cheerleaders are dunking off trampolines during timeouts. We can do this the right way this time. How about a section of the paint that flips over during the last two minutes of the 2nd and 4th quarters to reveal a trampoline? There'd be last-second MJ Space Jam dunks happening every other game. Zach LaVine off a trampoline with the T'Wolves down a point? THAT'S entertainment. AND totally feasible. Stop doubting yourself. Anything is possible © Kevin Garnett 2008.

Chance of Happening (%): 5%

Fun Factor (1-10): 10

Why:

Crowds armed with thunder sticks can only go so far. The NBA is repeatedly slowed down by free throws, and while the league is looking into ways to speed up this process by possibly having players shoot one shot instead of two or three, that's not necessarily the answer. The problem isn't that the game is slowed by free throws, it's that free throws are BORING. The answer? A designated free throw taunter for each team. One player from each squad is allowed to stand at the baseline facing the shooter and move and/or say anything they want in order to mess with the opposing players concentration. Melo shooting two against the Nets? Maybe Kevin Garnett is under the basket pretending to eat a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios while doing a Jodeci-style body roll. No way Melo goes two-for-two under those circumstances. This not only makes the free throw process more interesting, but it creates more intense and personal rivalries between the teams. Win/win.

Chance of Happening (%): 10%

Fun Factor (1-10): 7

Why:

Baseball has the seventh-inning stretch and “Take Me Out to the Ballgame,” now it's basketball's turn to get the crowd involved in some collective in-game activity. Over the past few years Damian Lillard has introduced basketball fans to “Four Bar Friday” where he spits a quick few bars for his followers on Instagram, why not get NBA fans together to stand before the start of the fourth quarter to stretch their legs, take a breath, and enjoy some sideline celebrity or team-affiliated struggle rapper rapping a quick four for the crowd? Who wouldn't wanna hear Kendrick quickly going in at a Lakers game about how shitty they are or Lambo spitting that fire about Cleveland pride and/or Gloria James' ill na na? Sounds like a no-brainer.

Chance of Happening (%): 2%

Fun Factor (1-10): 8

Why:

Whenever a dude gets his ankles broken off the dribble, the next 24 hours are a trying time for the victim who needs to live through the constant replays on SportsCenter and comedians on social media. But you know where that person probably isn't getting hounded? The locker room. We need to change all that. Plain and simple, if you get your ankles broken, your team loses anywhere from five to ten points, based on the severity of the ankle-breaker. And how are we going to determine the severity of the ankle-breaker? By running it back again and again on the jumbotron, and having the referees review the tape to make a judgment call. Just to make sure that the moment really gets to sink in and marinate. And could you imagine the seething hatred from teammates if one poor guy's brittle ankles cost his squad the W? We don't need to go into detail, but you better believe that it's not going to be pretty the next few days. Mission accomplished.

Chance of Happening (%): .5%

Fun Factor (1-10): 9

Why:

Sports can get frustrating sometimes. It's understandable. The competitive juices get flowing and the next thing you know, you're dreaming of decapitating your opponent with a swift elbow to the dome. But you can't because then you can get fined and/or suspended. Now, what if you could get just one free pass? Just for that one time where a particular player crosses the line. How great would it be to deliver a quick punch to the nuts or a jab to the grill with no repercussions? No more pent up anger or frustration every time you see that dude on the court. Just get it all out and keep it moving.

Chance of Happening (%): 10%

Fun Factor (1-10): 9

Why:

Surely we can't just have players taking nut shots and 'bowing each other in the neck without some kind of repercussions. Enter the NBA penalty box. It's just like the NHL penalty box, only instead of simply sitting quietly waiting for their chance to return, the players would be forced to live tweet their frustrations on a laptop inside the box. Kobe finally snapped and headbutted Dwight Howard right in his fake smiley face? Time for The Mamba to take five in The Box and tweet about what a giant part of the female anatomy he is for the millions watching at home and on their computers. Get a tech? That's five minutes in The Box, Boogie. Now tell the world how you really feel about the refs.

Chance of Happening (%): -100%

Fun Factor (1-10): 10

Why:

Look, everyone is aware that NBA players don't make the most faithful partners. You think their wives/girlfriends/boyfriends(?) don't already know they're cheating? Of course they know. So, since nobody has anything to lose by broadcasting the fact that they're involved in multiple relationships, why not give the fans something additional to look forward to? Instead of having the side chicks sit in Section 305 far away from the bench and as far away the wife and kids as possible, let's create a designated Sidepiece Section near the court so everybody at home can appreciate these beautiful golddiggers. Plus, if everyone just sits their sidepieces on the same courtside bench, nobody will know who's with who. Make it happen, Silver!