The 20th anniversary of the movie Titanic will be next month. To celebrate the occasion, AMC is going to show the film in a number of theaters over the course of the next few weeks. There is also going to be plenty of Titanic-related content infiltrating the internet. But good luck topping this content, guys!
We don’t know why someone decided to get DeMarcus Cousins to review Titanic. He was only 7 when the movie came out and doesn’t necessarily seem like the logical choice to review it. But someone did ask him to do it, and boy oh boy, was that a wonderful call on their part.
In the clip above, you can see Cousins standing in front of a screen showing clips from the movie while breaking down the basic plot points. From explaining how Jack was a "player" (twice!) to talking about how Jack "finessed the whole situation" on the boat, DMC has some interesting takes on the film, for sure. The best part comes when the Pelicans center discusses the end of the movie—just like you, he hated it. There was soooooo much extra space on that door that Rose was on! Why couldn’t she just…hmmm, let’s let DeMarcus tell it.
"The ship, you know, of course, it sank," Cousins says in his review (hope we didn’t just spoil the ending for anyone). "It was devastation everywhere. There was a lot of people in the water. There was some debris floating around there, and there was just this door. This one door. Jack, being the player that he was, he let the lady, Rose, sit on the door so she wouldn’t be in the freezing cold water. Rose, she made Jack stay in the water! So Jack froze to death, and Rose lived on to tell the story of this beautiful movie I’m telling you guys about."
Titanic director James Cameron recently talked about the "silly" Jack death theories people have approached him with over the years. He said the entire movie would have been "meaningless" if Jack had lived. But does he know DeMarcus Cousins hated the ending, too? He should reconsider his position immediately.
Titanic talk aside, can we request to have Cousins review, like, every movie ever from now on? He may have missed his true calling. Check out his review in the video above.